Are You Ready For Marriage?

pastor's wife, a resource article on MARRIAGE

authored by lyka

With drive-by weddings and next day divorces becoming a norm, many have started to just think about marriage lightly, if not jokingly. But for the serious minded person, here are some factors to consider:

1. THE LEGAL
Although one can insist on getting married in spite of their parents' disapproval, that would a wrong way to start it, don't you think? Your parents have cared for you your whole life, they deserve the respect, trust, and obedience that you could give while your still not of age.

2. THE EMOTIONAL
One must be stable enough or consistent enough in handling his/her emotions, especially when marriage comes in. Ability to rise above the emotional challenges marriage problems and complications might bring is the key to a lasting marriage.

3. THE MENTAL
One must know what marriage fully entails. It's not a fairy tale, it's not a happy ever after. Don't even think about getting married if you haven't sat down and really thought about all the changes that will take place, and all the new responsibilities it would bring.

4. THE SOCIAL
One must have been able to know enough people, and especially those of the opposite sex, for him or her to be able to really gauge and know that this other person is the right one to marry with. If you haven't had many acquaintances and friends, then don't jump into marriage yet. Find someone that will share most of your interests and goals.

5. THE SPIRITUAL
Much fight has been happening over which church to go to, and in which faith to raise the children in. Settle this issue now, before marriage. Find someone who has the same faith as you do.

6. THE PERSONAL
People who haven't achieved much of their dreams and goals yet, and have no sense of personal fulfillment yet, should postpone the thought of marriage. Marriage changes lots of things- among that would be the pursuit of one's own personal ambitions, pleasures, and others. Sacrifices are often needed in marriage, like the sacrifice of one's career, priorites, and personal plans for the sake of the marriage. So, make sure to raise your level of self-fulfillment first and seek to achieve most if not all of your own plans and dreams first, before settling down. It's best to enter marriage as a fulfilled and satisfied bachelor.

7. THE FINANCIAL
Make sure to have enough for the wedding and after the wedding. Financial problems can put much pressure and strain in any relationship, moreso marriage. Prepare for it first. And be ready for needed financial adjustments once you get married. A spendthrift must mend his ways, else there would be no financial security in the marriage.

Knowing If Your 'Mate' is the One

pastor's wife, a resource for marriage counseling

Some women feel that it's really a bad thing to remain single.
Some who reach the age of 30 get overly worried about this situation.

But you know, what's worse than being single is being involved with and
or being married to the wrong person.

The following guidelines will help-the single woman in search of the 'right one'
and,the 'involved' woman in determining if this relationship is the 'right one'.

1. open communication
If the lines are open, then any relationship is 'workable'.
Being able to say what you feel at the time you feel it is important.
This ensures honesty and assures acceptance in any relationship.

2. common interests
If there is common ground to work on then any relationship will thrive.
Being able to enjoy conversations, activities, and other passions that are
held important and worthwhile by both parties will certainly cause their
relationship to flourish throughout the years.

3. intellectual compatibility
If one can communicate on a level that the other will 'understand' then both
parties will never run out of things to talk about. Being able to relate to one's
partner is key to lifelong companionship.

4. sexual compatibility
Though sex is not the reason for any marriage, it plays a vital part. Being able
to satisfy one's partner and to be satisfied by one's partner in the area of
physical intimacy is key to an AFFAIR-PROOF marriage. Couples must
be able to openly and honestly discuss their preferences and or desires in
this area.

5. spirituality
Marriage IS an institution appointed by God. He blesses it, sanctifies it,
and guides it to success. Common faith in and dependence on the Bible
and its truths will cause any marriage to survive trials and testings that
will challenge the marriage. There is peace, satisfaction, and assurance
from seeking God and His will in your marital relationship.

--lyka