pastor`s wife, a resource article on MARRIAGE,
from lifeway
Written by Rodney A. Wilson
Way back in the 20th century, a rich man was asked, “How much
money would it take to satisfy you?”
He replied, “Just a little more.”
That’s a sad story because it reveals that this man would never be
satisfied even though he was extremely wealthy.
Contrast that man’s attitude with Paul’s, as expressed in Philippians
4:12: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every
situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in
want.”
How did these two men end up on opposite ends of the fulfillment
spectrum? Did Paul have a corner on the contentment market? No.
And you may be wondering if genuine contentment really is possible
for marriages in today’s fast-paced, “give me more, more, more”
world.
Let’s look at what contentment is and is not.
Contentment Is ...
Having peace in your marriage; knowing that although the two of
you aren’t perfect, you’re making progress.
Christ-centered. Being aware that even though you still have “room
to grow” as a couple, God is in your marriage, and He is enough
regardless of what you do and do not possess.
Contentment Is Not ...
A lack of ambition. Indeed, couples need to pursue new areas of
growth in their relationship and celebrate when those goals are
reached. The success of one’s marriage, however, should not be
measured by meeting or missing goals.
I
t’s a good idea to check your motives when setting goals and
balance your ambition with wisdom. Ask each other, “Why are we
setting this goal?” or “Will the Lord be pleased when we achieve
this goal?”
A lack of conflict. Can peace and anger co-exist in the same home?
Remember that peace is based on a relationship with the Lord, not
on the absence or presence of disagreement. God is the true source
of any contentment we have.
Such peace, however, does not guarantee a 100-percent,
argument-free marriage. However, with the foundation of God’s
presence and the peace He brings, you can face conflict with
confidence.
Perhaps that sounds like a paradox, but it works. Practice being
content – even when your honey is steamed at you.
A destination. You never “arrive” at contentment. You practice it. It is
a tributary that flows out of your relationship with God. See it as a
work in progress rather than a state of being. Seek growth, not
perfection, and seek to be journey-oriented rather than
achievement-driven.
Benefits to Your Marriage
How does being content help your marriage?
1. Contentment provides stability. When you and your spouse are
content in your marriage, you are aware that you love and accept
each other based on who you are, not on what one spouse has done
for the other lately.
2. Contentment keeps you from panicking during a crisis. I remember
one of those dues-paying, character-building chapters of our early
marriage. We had moved and were trying to sell a house in another
city. Mortgage rates were approaching 20 percent. Selma, my wife,
was seven months pregnant. At the same time we received word that
the house we were currently renting had been sold out from under
us! Selma then made a memorable observation: “We’re making two
monthly payments for housing, and still don’t have anywhere to
live!”
We laugh about that crisis now, but only the security of Christ in our
lives throughout that struggle kept us from falling apart. One by one
the issues were resolved as God’s presence and provision never
failed us.
3. Contentment keeps things in perspective. Sometimes it appears as
if everyone is screaming at you, more is better, and the busier you
are the more impressive you will be. You don’t have to buy into the
world’s values when you and your partner are experiencing
contentment that comes from the Prince of Peace.
As a couple, pursue all God has in store for you. He has some great
things He wants to do in and through your marriage in 2004. As you
press on toward the goal(s) for this year, be grateful – and content –
that He has provided you a Helper for the journey.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
4 Christians Arrested for Praying
[Religious Persecution]
Saudi Arabia: Four Christians found praying at home arrested
AsiaNews, Italy
June 19, 2006
www.asianews.it
Jeddah (AsiaNews) – The notorious Muttawa (religious police) have
struck Christians in Saudi Arabia once again. According to the
Compass Direct agency, on 9 June, 10 police armed with wooden
clubs broke into a private residence in Jeddah, arresting four
Christians of African origin who were conducting a prayer service.
The two Ethiopians and two Eritreans are reportedly still detained in
a prison for immigrants in Jeddah.
When the raid of the muttawa took place, more than 100 Eritrean,
Ethiopian and Filipino Christians were gathered in the house in
Al-Rowaise district in Jeddah. The worshippers invited the police to
sit down; the latter waited for three hours until the service was over
and then they arrested the four group leaders: Mekbeb Telahun,
Fekre Gebremedhin, Dawit Uqbay and Masai Wendewesen. All four
except the last are married. Local sources said “some police had
already come two weeks earlier but they did nothing then.”
A Christian who spoke with the detainees by telephone reported they
were “doing fine, with okay morale.” But he said he did not know
how they were being treated, or whether they were undergoing
interrogation. According to local sources, the incident has been
reported to consular officials of the Philippines and the United
States.
The government of Saudi Arabia forbids the practice of any religious
other than the fundamentalist Wahhabite version of Islam. Mission
and any public manifestation like carrying a Bible, a crucifix, a
rosary beads and praying in public, are forbidden. The muttawa,
known for their ruthlessness and violent torture practices, monitor
respect for the ban.
In recent years, thanks to international pressure, the Saudi kingdom
has allowed the practice of other faiths, but only in private. However
the religious police continue to arrest, imprison and torture people
who practice their religion, even if they do so in private.
In the Saudi kingdom, which has a totally Muslim population, it is not
permitted to build places of worship, churches or chapels. There are
no exact statistics about the Christian presence, composed largely of
migrant workers.
Saudi Arabia: Four Christians found praying at home arrested
AsiaNews, Italy
June 19, 2006
www.asianews.it
Jeddah (AsiaNews) – The notorious Muttawa (religious police) have
struck Christians in Saudi Arabia once again. According to the
Compass Direct agency, on 9 June, 10 police armed with wooden
clubs broke into a private residence in Jeddah, arresting four
Christians of African origin who were conducting a prayer service.
The two Ethiopians and two Eritreans are reportedly still detained in
a prison for immigrants in Jeddah.
When the raid of the muttawa took place, more than 100 Eritrean,
Ethiopian and Filipino Christians were gathered in the house in
Al-Rowaise district in Jeddah. The worshippers invited the police to
sit down; the latter waited for three hours until the service was over
and then they arrested the four group leaders: Mekbeb Telahun,
Fekre Gebremedhin, Dawit Uqbay and Masai Wendewesen. All four
except the last are married. Local sources said “some police had
already come two weeks earlier but they did nothing then.”
A Christian who spoke with the detainees by telephone reported they
were “doing fine, with okay morale.” But he said he did not know
how they were being treated, or whether they were undergoing
interrogation. According to local sources, the incident has been
reported to consular officials of the Philippines and the United
States.
The government of Saudi Arabia forbids the practice of any religious
other than the fundamentalist Wahhabite version of Islam. Mission
and any public manifestation like carrying a Bible, a crucifix, a
rosary beads and praying in public, are forbidden. The muttawa,
known for their ruthlessness and violent torture practices, monitor
respect for the ban.
In recent years, thanks to international pressure, the Saudi kingdom
has allowed the practice of other faiths, but only in private. However
the religious police continue to arrest, imprison and torture people
who practice their religion, even if they do so in private.
In the Saudi kingdom, which has a totally Muslim population, it is not
permitted to build places of worship, churches or chapels. There are
no exact statistics about the Christian presence, composed largely of
migrant workers.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Five Common Christian Counseling Errors I
pastor`s wife, a resource article on counseling
Five Common Christian Counseling Errors
Evaluate Your Biblical Counseling Techniques
(c) 2005 Doug Britton
Note: This online Bible study borrows from some of the points in the seminar,
"How to Counsel from Scripture."
When you give advice—as a friend, counselor or pastor—it's easy to harm your effectiveness by making one (or more) of the following mistakes.
As you study, score yourself from 0 to 10 on each point.
"0" means, "I really need to improve in this area."
"10" means, "I'm doing great in this area."
Mistake #1: Giving advice without listeningOne of the biggest mistakes Christians (and others) make is giving quick counsel or advice without carefully listening. When we listen, people trust us more and we are able to give better advice.
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19).
The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him (Proverbs 18:17).
Make it your goal to deeply understand the other person. This is more than just being able to repeat back someone’s words. This is understanding emotions and thoughts. Ask lots of questions. "Listen" to emotions and body language, not just words.
My "listening" score (0-10): ____
Mistake #2: Showing a judgmental or condemning spirit
The person with whom you are speaking (or counseling) may have sinned in almost unthinkable ways or made serious mistakes. However, if you give the message that you are disgusted, he or she is unlikely to benefit from your advice.
Show concern for people who have sinned. They should sense that you care, not that you condemn.
Identify sin as sin, but replace anger, disgust and condemnation with sorrow and concern. Remember that your goal is to restore the other person, to help him or her change.
For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted (Hebrews 2:18).
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin (Hebrews 4:15). Stay humble. Remember that although you may not have committed the same sin, you have committed lots of other serious sins.
My "judgmental attitude" score (0-10): ____
Mistake #3: Talking too much
Has someone ever given you a long speech about your mistakes? If so, you probably tuned out part way through. Speeches rarely work!
When you get people involved in a discussion, they are more likely to change. Remember to ask questions. It’s often effective to ask people if they would like to make changes. If they say "yes," ask what they would like to change. When you help people work on something they identify, they are more likely to get involved.
My "talking too much score" (0-10): ____
to be continued...
Five Common Christian Counseling Errors
Evaluate Your Biblical Counseling Techniques
(c) 2005 Doug Britton
Note: This online Bible study borrows from some of the points in the seminar,
"How to Counsel from Scripture."
When you give advice—as a friend, counselor or pastor—it's easy to harm your effectiveness by making one (or more) of the following mistakes.
As you study, score yourself from 0 to 10 on each point.
"0" means, "I really need to improve in this area."
"10" means, "I'm doing great in this area."
Mistake #1: Giving advice without listeningOne of the biggest mistakes Christians (and others) make is giving quick counsel or advice without carefully listening. When we listen, people trust us more and we are able to give better advice.
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19).
The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him (Proverbs 18:17).
Make it your goal to deeply understand the other person. This is more than just being able to repeat back someone’s words. This is understanding emotions and thoughts. Ask lots of questions. "Listen" to emotions and body language, not just words.
My "listening" score (0-10): ____
Mistake #2: Showing a judgmental or condemning spirit
The person with whom you are speaking (or counseling) may have sinned in almost unthinkable ways or made serious mistakes. However, if you give the message that you are disgusted, he or she is unlikely to benefit from your advice.
Show concern for people who have sinned. They should sense that you care, not that you condemn.
Identify sin as sin, but replace anger, disgust and condemnation with sorrow and concern. Remember that your goal is to restore the other person, to help him or her change.
For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted (Hebrews 2:18).
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin (Hebrews 4:15). Stay humble. Remember that although you may not have committed the same sin, you have committed lots of other serious sins.
My "judgmental attitude" score (0-10): ____
Mistake #3: Talking too much
Has someone ever given you a long speech about your mistakes? If so, you probably tuned out part way through. Speeches rarely work!
When you get people involved in a discussion, they are more likely to change. Remember to ask questions. It’s often effective to ask people if they would like to make changes. If they say "yes," ask what they would like to change. When you help people work on something they identify, they are more likely to get involved.
My "talking too much score" (0-10): ____
to be continued...
THE MOMMY TEST
an illustration, study or message opener for Mother`s day /Father`s day
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't k now where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?""Uh,"...I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes , but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't k now where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?""Uh,"...I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes , but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
Sunday, June 04, 2006
How to Help Energize Your Wife in Ministry
pastor's wife, a resource article for your husbands. why not share it with them :)
by Jill Briscoe
Free your wife. Make it possible for her to serve one day a week in a place of her choosing, not where "duty calls." Stay home and watch the kids so she can do this.
Pray for your wife and with your wife. The shepherd can be so busy praying for the flock he can forget the needs of his shepherdess!
Respect her opinion. Ask for her input for important matters, such as what she thinks about a prospective ministry move. Be willing to take her advice and come to a consensus before a major change.
Encourage her to continue her spiritual and intellectual education. When an adult is around small children all day, she tends to think, eat and talk like them. Adult company and stimulation helps keep her fresh and up on things.
Delight in your wife regularly, creatively and tenderly. Plan a picnic, revisit some favorite place or activity you enjoyed when courting her or carve out a special day in the middle of the week for her. You will discover that, if you delight in her, she will delight you!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Taken from Pastor's Family magazine, Dec 1996/Jan 1997.Jill Briscoe and her husband, Stuart, have served Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, Wis., since 1970. They have three grown children and nine grandchildren.Jill is executive editor of Just Between Us, a magazine for ministry wives and women in ministry. (For more information, contact Just Between Us at 800-260-3342.) She is also the author of Renewal on the Run (Shaw).
by Jill Briscoe
Free your wife. Make it possible for her to serve one day a week in a place of her choosing, not where "duty calls." Stay home and watch the kids so she can do this.
Pray for your wife and with your wife. The shepherd can be so busy praying for the flock he can forget the needs of his shepherdess!
Respect her opinion. Ask for her input for important matters, such as what she thinks about a prospective ministry move. Be willing to take her advice and come to a consensus before a major change.
Encourage her to continue her spiritual and intellectual education. When an adult is around small children all day, she tends to think, eat and talk like them. Adult company and stimulation helps keep her fresh and up on things.
Delight in your wife regularly, creatively and tenderly. Plan a picnic, revisit some favorite place or activity you enjoyed when courting her or carve out a special day in the middle of the week for her. You will discover that, if you delight in her, she will delight you!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Taken from Pastor's Family magazine, Dec 1996/Jan 1997.Jill Briscoe and her husband, Stuart, have served Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, Wis., since 1970. They have three grown children and nine grandchildren.Jill is executive editor of Just Between Us, a magazine for ministry wives and women in ministry. (For more information, contact Just Between Us at 800-260-3342.) She is also the author of Renewal on the Run (Shaw).
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