pastor's wife, a resource article on MARRIAGE
by Tapan Sarkar
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Every marriage starts with a lot of hope and dream about life long association filled with love and togetherness. But very few marriages fulfill the hopesof the participants in totality.There are various reasons for this but here we single out 6 of those. Every young person who is planning marriage should be aware of these most common pitfalls.
1. Marrying for the sake of love without first checking the depth of love.
No denying that all relationships start with a sense oflove and mutual liking. Committing to a long termr elationship like marriage solely on the basis of that feeling of love is a mistake. Because most of the time this kind of feeling is superficial and can not pass the test of time. Romantic feeling dies as time passes and far more important issues like 'family background','values', 'religious faith', 'financial stability'raise their head, and these issues are of real importance which almost every body with feeling of mutual love ignore.
2. Marrying someone who does not share an interest or hobby.
While marriage with a person who does not share an interest or hobby does not itself make the marriage unstable, presence of such an interest or hobby can make life more enjoyable for both the partners. And this can make a real difference so while selecting life partners this aspect must be taken into account.But for some reason or other this aspect is often overlooked before marriage. And efforts start after marriage to adapt the partner to one's own interest ordevelop a new common interest. While that is not an impossible task, the process of adapting may become un-palatable and may lead to unstable marriage.
3. Not knowing what questions to ask for checking compatibility.
As discussed earlier that marriage decision based on initial sense of love may be counter productive. To make a marriage successful one should do some simple homework. Knowledge of future partner's background and certain other things can play a crucial role here. Butmany young persons either do not try to know all these important facts or do not know what are important aspects s/he must know to make their marriage successful.
4. Thinking proper and careful quarries may offendher/him.One may think that too much investigation about futurepartner's back ground may not be a good idea. As the other partner may find it distasteful. This kind ofthought process keeps many young man and woman fromasking the right questions before marriage.
5. Depending too much on a friend or relatives recommendation.
A sizable number of young mean and women often get married on the recommendation of relatives or friends.While generally relatives and friends are regarded as well wishers, marrying on their recommendation is not a good idea. As their knowledge of a person can never equal to the knowledge the person has about herself or himself. So the person to be married is in a much better position to select a compatible life partner. Best way out is acting on their recommendation only after successful completion of compatibility check.
6. Getting married to make somebody else happy.Sometimes people get married to make someone else happy. It may be parents or it may be relatives. There is no problem in making someone happy if that does not jeopardize one's own marriage. But most of time in such cases marriages occur without exercising enough caution. As a result one may end up marrying someone not compatible.If you are really serious to make your marriage an exciting, loving and enriching experience you need to be careful about the above things before your marriage.