Being Content in Your Marriage

pastor`s wife, a resource article on MARRIAGE,
from lifeway

Written by Rodney A. Wilson


Way back in the 20th century, a rich man was asked, “How much
money would it take to satisfy you?”

He replied, “Just a little more.”

That’s a sad story because it reveals that this man would never be
satisfied even though he was extremely wealthy.

Contrast that man’s attitude with Paul’s, as expressed in Philippians
4:12: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every
situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in
want.”

How did these two men end up on opposite ends of the fulfillment
spectrum? Did Paul have a corner on the contentment market? No.
And you may be wondering if genuine contentment really is possible
for marriages in today’s fast-paced, “give me more, more, more”
world.
Let’s look at what contentment is and is not.

Contentment Is ...

Having peace in your marriage; knowing that although the two of
you aren’t perfect, you’re making progress.

Christ-centered. Being aware that even though you still have “room
to grow” as a couple, God is in your marriage, and He is enough
regardless of what you do and do not possess.

Contentment Is Not ...

A lack of ambition. Indeed, couples need to pursue new areas of
growth in their relationship and celebrate when those goals are
reached. The success of one’s marriage, however, should not be
measured by meeting or missing goals.
I
t’s a good idea to check your motives when setting goals and
balance your ambition with wisdom. Ask each other, “Why are we
setting this goal?” or “Will the Lord be pleased when we achieve
this goal?”

A lack of conflict. Can peace and anger co-exist in the same home?
Remember that peace is based on a relationship with the Lord, not
on the absence or presence of disagreement. God is the true source
of any contentment we have.

Such peace, however, does not guarantee a 100-percent,
argument-free marriage. However, with the foundation of God’s
presence and the peace He brings, you can face conflict with
confidence.

Perhaps that sounds like a paradox, but it works. Practice being
content – even when your honey is steamed at you.

A destination. You never “arrive” at contentment. You practice it. It is
a tributary that flows out of your relationship with God. See it as a
work in progress rather than a state of being. Seek growth, not
perfection, and seek to be journey-oriented rather than
achievement-driven.

Benefits to Your Marriage
How does being content help your marriage?

1. Contentment provides stability. When you and your spouse are
content in your marriage, you are aware that you love and accept
each other based on who you are, not on what one spouse has done
for the other lately.

2. Contentment keeps you from panicking during a crisis. I remember
one of those dues-paying, character-building chapters of our early
marriage. We had moved and were trying to sell a house in another
city. Mortgage rates were approaching 20 percent. Selma, my wife,
was seven months pregnant. At the same time we received word that
the house we were currently renting had been sold out from under
us! Selma then made a memorable observation: “We’re making two
monthly payments for housing, and still don’t have anywhere to
live!”

We laugh about that crisis now, but only the security of Christ in our
lives throughout that struggle kept us from falling apart. One by one
the issues were resolved as God’s presence and provision never
failed us.

3. Contentment keeps things in perspective. Sometimes it appears as
if everyone is screaming at you, more is better, and the busier you
are the more impressive you will be. You don’t have to buy into the
world’s values when you and your partner are experiencing
contentment that comes from the Prince of Peace.

As a couple, pursue all God has in store for you. He has some great
things He wants to do in and through your marriage in 2004. As you
press on toward the goal(s) for this year, be grateful – and content –
that He has provided you a Helper for the journey.