Organize to Thrive as a Mom at Home

Organize to Thrive as a Mom at Home
Whitney Hopler


Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications
of Cindy Sigler Dagnan's book, Who Got Peanut Butter on My Daily
Planner?: Organizing and Loving Your Days as a Mom, (Harvest House,
2006).

As a mom, you want to give your best to your kids – but you don't want
to lose yourself in the process. Staying home with your kids doesn't
have to be an ordeal to endure; it can be an adventure to love if you
organize your life wisely.

Here's how you can organize your life so you can best enjoy motherhood at home:

Recognize the importance of your job.
Know that your efforts as a mom are vitally important to your kids and
will shape their lives in crucial ways. Understand that no other type
of work you can do is more significant than parenting. Realize that no
one else can raise your kids as well as you and their dad can. Take
heart that all the sacrifices you need to make to stay home with your
kids are worthwhile.

Aim to be productive.
Realize that, as demanding as your parenting duties are, you can
actually accomplish a lot beyond parenting while you're home with your
kids. Make time regularly to work toward other goals, such as learning
a new skill, exercising, reading, and doing volunteer service
projects.

Get out of the house regularly.
Give yourself the gift of a change of scenery as often as you can.
Take the kids to a library, park, museum or other place to give both
them and yourself relief from cabin fever.

Establish and maintain friendships.
Get together with other women frequently to support and encourage each other.

Cultivate a sense of humor.
Look for creative ways to have fun with your kids and truly enjoy your
time with them. Try to laugh frequently. Whenever you confront
stressful situations, look for the humor in them to help you relax.

Pray often.
Talk with God regularly about your thoughts and feelings. Intercede
for others who need prayer. Make a prayer a habit to model faith in
action to your kids.

Put situations in perspective.
Make a list of everything that's currently causing you stress. Then
consider each situation on your list, asking yourself whether or not
it will matter to you tomorrow, next week, in one year, or in five
years. Turn your worries into prayers and ask God to take control of
each situation that's troubling you. Ask Him to give you His
perspective on all you're facing so you're not stressed unnecessarily.

Plan well.
Understand that if you don't plan your days, circumstances will end up
planning them for you. Every night, draw up an action plan for the
next day. Build your plan around your priorities so you'll spend your
time and energy doing what most helps you fulfill God's purposes for
your life. As you write your list of things to do, build in extra time
in between tasks to account for interruptions and other unexpected
demands that will inevitably come your way. Consider what you might
eliminate from your to-do list every time you add something new.

Use time well.
Turn downtime (such as time spent waiting in lines or in traffic) into
productive time by keeping supplies like and a pen and paper and a
magazine with you at all times so you can write notes or read whenever
pockets of time open up for you. Exercise regularly and get eight
hours of sleep each night to boost your energy. Do your shopping at
odd hours to avoid crowds. Group your errands together to get several
tasks accomplished in just one trip. If possible, delegate some of
your chores and errands to others. Don't hesitate to say "no" to
people who ask you to do something you can't do your best on right
now. Accept your limitations. Just do your best to focus on your
priorities and trust that everything else will fall into place. Be
flexible. Recognize that people are more important than things,
schedules, or deadlines. Remind yourself of your blessings often,
thank God for them, and continue to rely on God's strength to help you
with whatever you need.

Make space for sanity.
Clear out mental clutter by asking the Holy Spirit to renew your mind
daily, help you focus on what's most important, and have the right
attitudes to live well. Clear out clutter in your home by simplifying
your lifestyle and making do with less stuff, handling each piece of
paper (such as bills or schoolwork) only once before dealing with it
or filing it, and storing every object in your house in a designated
place.

Give up perfectionism and control.
Realize that it's futile to try to be perfect and that perfectionism
can actually cause you to miss out on God's best for your life. Rather
than striving to fulfill unrealistically high expectations of
yourself, relax your standards. Think about the worst that could
possibly happen if you can't do what you hope to do in a given
situation, and realize that the outcome would probably something you
could live with just fine. Don't despair when your best-laid plans go
awry. Expect the unexpected and be flexible. Pray regularly,
relinquishing control of your life to God. Trust God to work out even
the worst situations to accomplish good purposes in your life.

Plan enjoyable meals.
Recognize the power that family meals have to draw you all closer to
each other. Do your best to eat at least one meal a day together and
have dinner together at least four nights a week when your husband
isn't on a business trip. View meals as more than just nourishment for
your bodies; see them as nourishment for your souls, as well. Create
an enjoyable experience at each mealtime. Try some new recipes, play
music, discuss a topic of interest to everyone, or hold a simple
devotional time while you eat.

Make time for yourself.
Don't let your responsibilities caring for others overwhelm you and
cause you to neglect yourself. Understand that you can ultimately care
for others better if you've had your own needs met first. Make time
regularly in your schedule to do anything you enjoy that doesn't
involve your kids' immediate needs.

Develop and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Ask God to help you feel content with your life, no matter what your
current circumstances. Drink at least eight glasses of water each day.
Try to get eight hours of sleep each night. Set an exercise routine
doing types of exercise you enjoy. Eat a healthy diet, including whole
grains and plenty of calcium and fruits and vegetables. Ask God to
help you like and respect your body. Work on keeping a healthy sexual
relationship with your husband. Nurture your friendships with other
women. Write down dreams and goals for yourself in different areas,
such as: personal, marriage, family, spiritual, career, and financial.
Then work each day to get closer to your goals.

Strengthen your connection to God.
Make prayer a frequent habit. Read, study, and meditate on the Bible
often. Get involved in a Mothers of Preschoolers group, a Moms in
Touch prayer group, or a Bible study group. Join a church and
contribute through service there. Teach your children how to grow
closer to God themselves, such as by giving each of them a Bible of
their own, pointing out how God is at work in their lives,
participating in devotions together, worshiping to praise music
together, practicing hospitality and working on service projects in
your community together.

Strengthen your marriage.
Don't let your parenting responsibilities cause you to neglect your
relationship with your husband. Keep investing significant amounts of
time and energy into your marriage. Go out on dates regularly. Make a
list of your husband's dreams and help make some of them come true.
Initiate sex with your husband sometimes. Set up boundaries to help
you both stay faithful to each other. Pray for God to protect your
marriage, or, if either of you has been unfaithful, that He would heal
your relationship and restore trust between you.

Pursue joy.
Decide to act in joyful ways, even when you don't feel that way, since
feelings often follow actions. Savor the simple pleasures around you,
such as the natural beauty of your backyard or the smell of cookies
you bake with your kids. Play with your kids and make memories
together for them to cherish after you're gone. Every day, ask God to
help you live purposefully.


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Adapted from Who Got Peanut Butter on My Daily Planner?: Organizing
and Loving Your Days as a Mom, copyright 2006 by Cindy Sigler Dagnan.
Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Or.,
www.harvesthousepublishers.com.

Cindy Dagnan is a writer and a popular speaker at national
conferences, retreats, and marriage seminars. She is the author of
five books – including Who Got Peanut Butter on My Daily Planner?; The
Chocolate Side of Life; and Scribbles: Sketches for Stressed-Out Moms
– and has also written numerous articles in such publications as P31
Woman, Christian Standard, and Hearts at Home. Cindy and her husband
are the proud parents of four children.