5 Things to Do When Your Buttons Are Pushed

Written by Joy Emery
Source: LifeWay

In every area of ministry you will find perpetual whiners and people drainers. While one might want to believe that we are insulated in the Body of
Christ and immune to people irritants – sometimes quite the opposite is true. Since we are in the Body of Christ, we tend to expect better conduct and
sometimes forget that we are all sinners saved by grace. Sometimes because our expectations are high, we end up frustrated with people who push
us to our limits.

Because you are in a role that requires you to interact with people, meet others’ needs and hear others’ opinions and stories, you must learn how to
deal with difficult people and manage your frustration.


People Who Push Our Buttons

Perpetual Whiners – The perpetual whiner will always have something to complain about. The best prescription for a whiner is to say, “I really
appreciate your input. Why don’t you write down your suggestions for me so we can consider your ideas for next year.” Whiners can then get it all off
their chests or choose to just let it go when they are required to expend energy on their own complaints.


Story Tellers – You see her coming and you want to run. You just don’t have time to hear another story. Greet her and then be honest about your time
constraints. If the person needs your encouragement, you can call her later. Then call her and end the call when you need to.


Gossip Spreaders – You find someone eager to share neighborly news. Instead of hearing the entire story, end the conversation by saying, “I don’t
need to know all the details, I have enough information to know to pray for her.” Or just let the person know that you don’t feel comfortable talking
unless the other party is present to defend herself or to tell her side of the story. Offering to get both parties together to clarify the information is
usually enough to stop the gossip.



What to Do When the Button Is Pushed
Because you are in a position to minister to folks, you can’t write off the ones you just don’t get along with or the ones who drive you nuts.


Here are five things to remember to deal with these difficult people:

Address the person’s real life need.
What causes the woman to need to gossip and share more information than needed? Can the complainer be used to better your ministry? Does she have a need to be more involved?

Talk directly with the woman and share your concern.
Be honest and don’t skirt the issues. Take another woman with you if you think you will need the support.

Refuse to act ungodly.
The biggest mistake you could make is say things you might regret later. Choose your words carefully and don’t share your frustration with others in the form of gossip.

Remember that the woman is worthy of ministry in God’s eyes.
While we may want to ignore the person or mark her off the friend list, God can and will work in all things.

Ask God to intervene and give you the insight you need to know how to handle the person and how to release the tension you might feel regarding the situation.


God has called you to minister to all types of people. Don’t let personality differences and difficult people keep you drained and ineffective. Invite others who have more ministry experience to help you know how to respond and thank God for allowing you to grow through difficult experiences and gain new perspectives to help others in the future.

Joy Every is a former education minister. She lives with her husband and three children in Mt Juliet, Tennessee and helps start new Sunday School
classes at Hermitage Hills Baptist Church.