Difficult prayer meeting questions

personal/ministry resource

Difficult prayer meeting questions
by Cheryl Sacks


Unfortunately, no matter how gentle or gracious you are, not everyone
will take your correction well. Don't let that stop you from giving
necessary corrective guidance, but let it remind you to be sensitive
on the few occasions when you administer it.

Cheryl Sacks, author of
The Prayer Saturated Church
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pastors who lead prayer meetings occasionally face dilemmas that are
difficult to handle because of the possibility to alienate or offend
church members. Often these circumstances arise in the middle of the
prayer meeting, requiring quick discernment and tactful handling on
the part of the leader. Here are a few questions I've been asked from
pastors and prayer coordinators regarding handling sticky problems in
corporate prayer gatherings:

1. What if someone starts praying theologically unsound prayers?
("Lord, have my angel give me a sign") As the prayer leader, you
should address this kind of problem head-on. Otherwise, your group
could mistake your silence as assent. Turn this obstacle into a brief
teaching. Say, "I think it's important we talk about this. While
angels do exist and this request was prayed sincerely, it's important
for us to understand more clearly how the Lord gives us direction. He
guides us through the Word, witness of the Spirit, and witness of
elders in the church." Keep your explanation to the point and then
swiftly move back to the business of prayer.

2. How do you redirect a misguided prayer without embarrassing the
person? ("Lord, please stop Bill and Sandi's wedding so he can marry
me.") Say something affirming first. Let the person know she is loved
and that you appreciate her fervency and her willingness to share her
prayer. To avoid embarrassment on the spot, you could say, "While that
issue is important, I feel at this time we need to focus on ..." For
an awkward social situation, you could say, "We thank you, God, that
you care about all aspects of our lives. We ask that your will be done
in this matter." If the person seems unbalanced or distressed, offer
to minister to her personally later. It's important to realize that if
a person has a negative or misguided prayer behavior, the loving thing
to do is help her get past that.

If a sincere person is still learning the ways of the Lord, the best
way to handle it is to speak with her personally later. Most people in
the group will understand your graciousness. A good biblical example
is Apollos in the book of Acts. This eloquent Jew was an articulate
teacher and fervent servant of the Lord who hadn't yet heard the full
message of the Gospel. Rather than being singled out publicly, he was
taken aside privately to be taught more accurately the ways of God
(Acts 18:26). Had this man been put down publicly, the Body of Christ
might have lost an excellent spokesperson.

3. What if there is a large interdenominational prayer gathering where
not everyone agrees on the same theological issues? Most participants
will realize this is the case and be more tolerant. As the prayer
leader, your role will not be to nit-pick, but to find the common
points of faith in Jesus Christ that you can pray about. (Check out my
book, The Prayer Saturated Church, for more guidance on this.)

4. How do you handle normal distractions such as loud babies or
children? If it's a minor or short-lived situation, it's better to
overlook it. Often, sensitive parents deal with problems quickly. But
if a baby's soft cries become uncontrollable piercing screams and
nothing is being done, direct intervention is necessary. Jack Hayford
handles these potentially awkward situations with a statement such as,
"Gee, if I were 6 months old I'd be bored with Pastor Jack's praying,
too. We do have a child ministry location where your baby would be
much more comfortable."

5. What if someone starts wailing, weeping, groaning, or laughing?
Sometimes these are genuine responses to a deep move of the Holy
Spirit upon a person. At other times, these responses are indicative
of a person having difficulty handling his emotions. It's important
that you discern what the Lord is doing and be sensitive to its effect
on newcomers. Is God calling people to deep repentance, and is this
person leading the way? Is this an appropriate time in the meeting to
do this? If so, then you can assure the people that this is OK and
encourage them to seek the Lord for what he's doing in each of them.
If you sense this is a misplaced but sincere display of emotion, then
you can say something like, "This person is being touched by the Lord,
so let's rejoice with him that the Lord is moving so powerfully in his
life." In some cases it may be necessary to ask a team member to
accompany the person to another room (the prayer room if you have one)
where his expression will not hinder the group. Then encourage a vocal
time of praise or worship to shift the focus.

6. If I must give corrective guidance, will I always be able to avoid
offending people? No. Unfortunately, no matter how gentle or gracious
you are, not everyone will take your correction well. Don't let that
stop you from giving necessary corrective guidance, but let it remind
you to be sensitive on the few occasions when you administer it.

If you find giving correction difficult (and most of us do) consider
this: When a person is derailing a prayer focus, other people's
prayers will be hindered if you don't take action and administer the
needed correction.

This article is adapted from Cheryl Sacks' book, The Prayer Saturated Church.